


A little mistake...or was it?

by Mitsuky



Series: One-Shots [3]
Category: Elder Scrolls, Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: All praise Sanguine!, Deal With It, F/M, Galmar is a douch, I love Sanguine, Neria is the Dragonborn, Neria really - really - hates being called a lier, Sanguine again?, Sanguine being Sanguine, Serana is amused and happy that she visited, Ulfric throws a party? Yep, Ulfric will regret his life choices, YES!, believe it - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 07:43:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20597168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mitsuky/pseuds/Mitsuky
Summary: The tags say everything.Ulfric throws a party, the Dragonborn is not happy, Sanguine appears, shenanigans ensue.





	A little mistake...or was it?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Anyone who loves Sanguine! ❤](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Anyone+who+loves+Sanguine%21+%E2%9D%A4).

> What do you say?  
I should be updating my other stories?  
Yeah... well... hmmm

Alduin was slain, Miraak defeated... or something (Mora did most of the work there), Harkon got killed, and many adventures were had. The only pie Neria didn’t dare touch, and not because she didn’t have a chance to, was the mess of the civil war. As a Dunmer, she has little to no love for the Nords who so openly despise her kind. Not all of them, true, but most. And the Empire can deal with their own problems for all she cares.

She was happy that she finally got some time for herself, finally finishing building her home and enjoying a sujamma with her good friend Serana, who visited to celebrate the completion of Neria’s work. She had plans to visit Solsteim soon too, to clean her house there and maybe chat with her friend Teldryn. She wanted to get the garden finished first though.

But as usual, the world deems it fit to throw a stone on her path and a courier arrived at her doors with a letter from none other than Jarl Ulfric.

At the year anniversary of her prophesized battle against Alduin’s and his death, Ulfric plans to throw a party to honour the Dovahkiin, her.

She snorts while reading the letter, sharing the news with Serana when she wakes that the evening. Neria knows better than to expect the party to be anything but a political manoeuvre. The civil war has extended for too long, the Thalmor running rampant and stomping on any worshipping of Talos going on, the people is tired and want peace once more. Even Nords can tire of war.

So this ‘ _ party’ _ can be no other thing but a new scheme from Ulfric to gain support in his war. He sent her letters before, when she returned from Sovengard, inviting her to join the Stormcloaks. She burnt every one of them.

But, not to show at the party when she’s the guest of honour would be a great offence. So, without much options, she prepared to travel to the cold hold of Windhelm and endure an evening of Ulfric pestering her. Serana traveled along with her of course, if they expected Neria to dance to their whim, the last the Stormcloaks could do is host Neria's friend.

Like this, a couple of days later, Neria and Serana arrive in Winterhold. An extra horse carrying their things since they couldn’t possibly attend a party in armour, so they bought some dresses on the way there.

Everyone walked aside to let her pass, looking at her and whispering about her many adventures while pointing at her dragonbone armour, even after months of living like a hermit and focusing on building her house. In the palace, Ulfric received them with a loud welcome and sent them to the already prepared room for her, making Jorleif arrange for a room for Serana without batting an eyelash.

And that night, the party started.

Serana was dressed in a beautiful black gown and her hair all down in pretty curls for once. Neria wore a red one who accentuated her eyes, her long white hair hanging loose over her left shoulder. None of them minded the cold since Serana is a vampire and Dunmers are commonly warmer so they had their shoulders bare and received some wistful looks, but more concealed sneers in Neria’s case.

Ulfric cleared loudly his throat as they finally walked by the table, raising a goblet and speaking overly honeyed words. “Welcome, Dragonborn, and thank you for accepting my invitation,” he nodded at Neria, earning her even more sneers from the Nords. Ulfric continued as though he didn’t notice and gave a speech to the people in the room. “Today is the anniversary of the defeat of Alduin!” Many cheered and raised their goblets, at least they didn’t have to act like they dislike _that_ from all that she did to help their thankless behinds.

“A year has gone by since the Dragonborn defeated a great evil that threatened our lands, a year since dragons stopped attacking our homes and we could rest knowing Neria protects us. Thank you, Dragonborn.”

Ulfric bowed his head a little bit once more and she replied with a shallow bow, smiling for appearance's sake. No matter how much he buttered her up, she’ll never join him in his stupid war.

Enough people died whit Alduin.

“Please! Eat and drink! This party is to celebrate our lives and the defeat of  _ one _ of our enemies!” The crowd went wild and everyone started to mingle, music began to sound and people started dancing.

“I’ll get us some wine,” Serana said, wandering off to the tables with the pitchers.

Not long after, Ulfric was by her side. “Jarl Ulfric,” she greeted him with a faint smile.

“Dragonborn, you arrived just in time today.”

Neria sighed internally. Why does he feel like she owes him any explanations? He should be grateful she came at all! She was fine with the sujamma and silly jokes by the fire of her home, in the company of someone who actually likes her person.

“I had to buy some appropriate clothes for the party, Jarl Ulfric. You didn’t seriously expect me to show up in my dragonbone armour…”

“Of course not,” Ulfric smiled placatingly. “You look lovely, by the way.”

“Thank you,” she said and turned her attention to Serana, who arrived with their glasses.

“Serana, was it?”

“Jarl Ulfric,” the vampire greeted him, saluting him with her cup of wine.

“And how did you came to meet the Dragonborn, Serana?” Ulfric asked curiously.

“Neria saved me from a terrible fate,” Serana commented without giving details and Ulfric’s eyes twitched.

“Of course she did, such a hero!” Galmar appeared, talking loudly and mockingly.

“That, she is,” the vampire said, not rising to the Nord’s taunt.

Galmar sneered, “A hero that isn’t capable of helping kick the Thalmor back where they belong!” he hissed, ignoring Ulfric's glare and call of his name.

He was about to spout something else but Neria grabbed Serana’s hand and tugged her away. They stayed far away from Galmar and other grimacing faces afterwards, talking with Jorleif about the state of the city and sharing animated quips with Wuunferth about magic.

They dance a little and even laughed some when Captain Lonely-Gale tried to flirt (he was terrible at it) with Serana. Adonato Leotelli made an apparition too, reading some of his works and entertaining them. Then all of them sat for dinner and ate.

It was nice for a while and dessert was a delicious Sunlight Souffle'. The night seemed to be going well until the Jarl stood.

Ulfric called for everyone's attention and started talking about how grateful he was  _ personally _ to the Dragonborn and how he admires her strength and such other nonsense, walking up to her and grabbing her hand, making her stand.

He smiled deviously for a moment as he caught her off guard, before bending to one knee and taking out a velvety box with a gaudy golden ring inside.

Neria blinked stupidly for a long time. She imagines that he asked her the question that usually goes with such displays. Not that she heard it. She was completely gobsmacked, and apparently for quite long since she came back to Serana shaking her arm.

She startled then, taking a step back before getting control of herself. She cleared her throat, her mind rushing to give her an answer that wouldn’t insult the Jarl too much, and then speaking.

“Jarl Ulfric… you flatter me.”

Ulfric frown leaves his face then and he stands up, trying to grab her hand once more.

“But I’ll have to decline.”

He was the one startled then and the people roared in outrage until Ulfric regained his bearing and silenced them.

“May I ask,  _ why _ ?” He practically demanded, jaw tight and tense.

Neria wanted to curse the man six ways to Oblivion. Trust Ulfric to find such a public way to air to the world Neria’s most guarded secret!

“I’m sorry, Jarl Ulfric... but I already have a husband,” Neria practically melted and became one with the floor with the desire to vanish from the room.

Do not ask. Do not ask. For everything that is sacred, accept my answer and DON’T.ASK.

“But where is your husband then, Dragonborn? I will not believe this until I see him,” Ulfric stated with an angry voice. “And if you’re lying-”

Neria stiffened suddenly and glared, “I am  _ not _ lying!”

“Then where is he?” Galmar jumped in, always so helpful.

Neria facepalmed, grumbling angrily.

“You shameless wench! You lied only to denied Ulfric proposal, you should-”

“I may be many things,” Neria said coldly, her restrained thu’um shaking the foundations of the palace, “but I’m not a lier!”

“Send someone to fetch your husband then. We will wait until he appears.” Neria tried to talk, to avoid getting to that since it would be really troublesome for her, but Ulfric didn’t let her. “And if he doesn’t come, I will know you lied and be  _ royally _ _ offended_ with your actions, Dragonborn.”

Neria glared. Ulfric Glared. Galmar glared and threw insults. Serana glared at Galmar but giggled under her breath since she already knew  _ who _ is Neria’s husband. Meanwhile, the crowd gossiped cruelly about the Dragonborn and her poor ‘excuses’.

“She won’t do it!” Galmar sneered. “She can't make a nonexistent husband appear out of Oblivion!” The Nord accused and Neria almost laughed at his statement. If only he knew… “You are no hero,” Galmar spit venomously, “You’re a shameless lying fraud!”

“Enough!” Neria shouted finally at the end of her wit and some people fell to the floor when the ground shook ominously. “You want to meet my husband? I’ll introduce you then…”

She ignored Ulfric’s surprise and Galmar’s incredulous bluf, grabbing her magickal satchel and plunging her entire arm inside, looking for something. When she found it, she exclaimed satisfied and brought the rose-shaped staff out of it, giving it a twirl in her hand and summoning the daedra. Many around her took weapons on their hands when the demon appeared, prepared for anything it may do, she ignored them all in favour of her Valkynaz.

“Mistress,” the Dremora talked after assessing the crowd and sheathing his greatsword.

“Valky, sorry to bother you like this,” Neria said with a hiss, “but I  _ really _ need you to go fetch my wayward husband. Make sure he knows to come right away to attend his wife because I’m incredibly angry right now.”

Valkynaz took a look around at the upset atmosphere and inclined his head, returning back to Oblivion a second later.

The tense crowd waited in silence, while Neria and Ulfric glared at each other.

They didn’t have to wait for long when another violet/blue portal opened and Sanguine walked out of it, tankard in hand and little bottles in the other. “Wifey! A little birdie told me you were mad?” He asked in a drunken drawl, smiling and raising the hand with the little bottles in it, “I’ll give you a nice massage with this, to make you feel better, and then you can make  _ me _ feel better,” he slurred wagging his eyebrows suggestively.

Neria rolled her eyes in exasperation, “Why is always everything sexual innuendo with you, Sam?”

Sanguine laughed in humour, used to her attitude, “Well darling, I am the God of Debauchery and Sin!” And he drank from his flask, laughing some more.

“Anyway,” Neria said shaking a hand as if to shove his comment away from the mind of the baffled mortals staring in open-mouthed incredulity at the God in the middle of the room. “Ulfric here-”

“Oh, Ulfric! How’ you doing pal?” Sanguine waved at the wide-eyed Jarl a few steps away, “Nice party you got here. It lacks the dancing strippers though, but I guess I can make an exception just for you-”

Neria cleared her throat and Sanguine blinked in her direction, smiling and conceding her the word. “As I was saying… Ulfric here,” she glares at said Jarl, “doesn’t believe that I am married.”

“Oh!” Sanguine exclaim and hiccups. “It’s that so?” He turns his gaze at the Jarl and the man flinches away from the otherworldly and inhuman gaze of Sanguine in all his daedric glory.

“He asked for my hand in marriage and got mad when I mentioned I’m already taken,” Neria continued. “And quite happily too, thank you very much,” she told this to the Jarl, turning her head sharply and rising her nose in a haughty manner.

She was happy that her marriage to Sanguine meant that other Princes didn’t get to claim her soul, not that she actually  _ liked _ being married to the daedra. It was quite bothersome being woken up at three in the morning on some random day by her _dear_ husband who wanted to go to some party or another...in Valenwood or Black Marsh or what-have-you. Having a daedra-like resistance to alcohol and out-drinking most mortals, because of her dragon soul affecting her metabolism, was what attracted the attention of the Daedric Prince and the thing she most hated some days. Maybe common alcohol doesn’t bother her, but daedric alcohol? She still can get drunk from that stuff and the hungover the next day is ten times worse!

Sanguine enjoys getting her drunk and taking her to do crazy stuff all over Nirn, leaving her to wake up the next day with a killing headache and… other, more pleasant aches.

She was suddenly being kissed by an inch of her life in front of everyone! “Oh darling, I knew there was a little special place for me in your heart!” Sanguine said with a wide smile and turned a frown at Ulfric, rising a finger in his direction and hugging her from the back. “This one is mine, mortal!”

Neria used the opportunity to take the tankard from his hand and drink her frustration away, ignoring the talk-down Sanguine was giving Ulfric.

“She’s not up for marriage with you or anyone! Other things though, talk with her about it, I don’t really mind. But no marrying. Mhnn, no, nope.” He raised his head sharply then, “Darling, you just won us a bet against Mora!” He laughed like a madman for a moment, “Take that you slimy  _ God of Fate _ ,” he mocked with a funny voice that drawled like Hermaeus usually does and Neria laughed.

“Good,” Neria replied absentmindedly and shared her drink with a curious Serana.

Sanguine continued talking nonsense and addressing Ulfric. People startled unfreezing and walking away as their shock wore off. Serana fell to the floor, drunk for the first time since that fateful day where she became a Daughter of Coldharbour, and giggling. Ulfric sat down, still staring in baffled disbelief at Sanguine and, from time to time, at Neria.

“...and that is why you never bring Sheogorath any presents, even on his birthdays. His sanity starts showing and then you have a depressed Hero of Kvach in your hands instead of a fun-loving Mad-God, it's the worst killjoy ever!” He drank from a nearby bottle of Black-Briar mead and scowled at it, looking around searchingly, “Where is my flask of Azure wine?” He walked up to Neria, sniffing the air and looking down at the empty glass in her hand in disappointment. “Darling, you just drank all of that? Azura is not going to gift me more of her wine until next year!” And he pouted so endearingly that Neria though him to be cute.

“Don’ wo’y, I’ll… ta’k he’ intwo ginv’n yo’ mol!” And she patted his cheek, planting a sloppy kiss on his chin (she didn’t reach higher) and passing out on his arms with a giggle.

“Only for that, you’re forgiven. I can’t believe I married such a cute little thing,” Sanguine sighed, putting Neria and Serana on each shoulder (he’s wearing a black-red robe, not the daedric armour) and turning to Ulfric a final time. “Don’t annoy my wife again, mortal,” and when the Jarl nodded, Sanguine left, back to Oblivion and to wait for the girls to wake up for some fun-time.

In Windhelm though, Ulfric sat at the head of his deserted table. Not even Galmar remained in the room. Drinking away like there was no tomorrow and swearing by Akatosh, Talos and the rest of the nine that he won’t ever annoy the Dragonborn for anything unless it was a matter of life or death.

By the next day, the nine holds of Skyrim would receive news from the many people attending that night to the party of the Dragonborn. The news of Neria and her daedric husband becoming the most uproarious bit of gossip for the following months, reaching the borders of Cyrodiil in a week and the rest of Tamriel soon after.

Meanwhile, Neria and Serana are blissfully unaware of the situation while they party and enjoy their time with Sanguine and some other visiting daedras.

Not a long time later, the worshipers of Sanguine would double, praising him and his wife equally. Plunging Tamriel into a frenzy of debauchery for a long long time.

As it was in Sanguine’s planes from the beggining...

Meanwhile, in the Shivering Isles...

"God of Fate my wife's sexy and round backside!" Sanguine laughed after sharing the last news of his joyful married life with his friend.

"I'll drink for that!" Sheogorath agreed, raising his skull-goblet full of colourful gummy-bears and some type of alcohol that Sanguine only ever prepared for him.

**Author's Note:**

> So...  
This happened.
> 
> I don't know how, I mean, I was supposed to write something about Nina but...  
Neria showed up instead.
> 
> And Sanguine, because, Sanguine.
> 
> I'd marry that guy too. Who wouldn't?  
He's Sin incarnate, all of life's good things in a tiny bundle of joy Daedra-shaped.  
Don't judge me.


End file.
